Mother's Day.

On Mother's Day last year, I was five weeks pregnant.

This year, well, you know.

I didn't dread this Mother's Day.  I was probably in denial, but I didn't actually feel much of anything about it in the run-up.  So it was a little bit of a surprise how sad I felt all day, and how vividly I dreamed about Mila last night, for only the second time.

As D said this week, "being a mom or dad is primal, unquestioned, factual" - so even though this isn't the first Mother's Day I'd had in mind, it's still my first one, and I felt like I was allowed to "celebrate" it.  The flowers and sweet notes I got from friends and family made me smile.

I don't have much to say today, other than that I miss my baby girl and wish she were here; and I'm thinking about the other moms who are missing their kids today, and the kids who are missing their moms.