Happy almost-6th birthday, baby girl. Six years ago tonight I was curled up at home with you, looking forward to the holidays, and unbeknown to me, sharing some of my last moments with you. Where would we be now, if you had stayed?
When we lost you, suddenly everything that really mattered to me was so clear. All the daily annoyances and insecurities fell away, for a time, and there was just that quiet knowledge. That was one of your greatest gifts to me. Nowadays, with the noise of everyday life, it's harder for me to access. My innermost thoughts are not as clear. But I'll keep working at it.
Schmorgy sniffed at your box of mementoes when I took it down from my closet this evening. His expression was curious and sensitive, all soft ears and knitted brows, and I think he knew it was something special. I think you would have loved him. Isla knows a bit about you, and she'll know more as she gets older. She is an imaginative, nurturing, artistic, particular, reserved, and defiant four years old. Your baby brother Jake is still too young to know about you, but he will too. He is still a little guy, 20 months old, and full of giggles and affection. He likes anything that "go-go's" and pretty much every dog he's ever seen.
We miss you, but we are so lucky. We are so lucky, but we miss you.
Love you always,
Mama
