29 weeks.

My belly has been getting big for a while now, but in the last week or so the Nut herself has started to feel big.  Really big -- all elbows and knees and limbs pressing outward just a little too hard for comfort.  I can feel her all curled up in there, pressing against the muscle walls of her little bubble; shifting positions, extending a leg, and occasionally giving a little jump.  It feels real and unreal.

The last nine weeks have gone by exceedingly slowly, but here I am -- I'm 29 weeks today, and into the third trimester.  Although I know there are no guarantees, that means that if things go according to plan, I'm no more than 10 weeks away from delivering her.  It seems like no time at all and an endless stretch of days.

I've been stuck in emotional standby for too long.  It's a survival mechanism to get through the weeks and weeks of this pregnancy, but it's put me in a bit of a daze.  I'm having trouble figuring out how to prepare, both logistically (is it too early to start making plans for family to come to SF, to buy the newborn-sized clothes I didn't buy for Mila, to find a pediatrician?) and emotionally.  I can't fathom what it might be like to go to the hospital and suddenly have a real live baby to take home; I'm just trudging through these days with blinders on and a vague sense that when that day finally (and hopefully, hopefully) comes, I won't know what hit me.